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Friday, July 17th 2009, 2:02pm

The whacky adventures of WHACK: Prologue

The character Whack came into the world of Tagoria to have a bit of fun. In the early days of this character (level 6) it joined the horde of Fatal Warriors by messaging a uniquely fatal :D message to the then warlord Sylar. As a non premium character it proceeded to learn the game the hard way. During its Fatal Warrior tenure many amusing anecdotes were written and messaged in an effort to bring some banter and fun into the horde. Alas none were saved for posterity.

At around level 17 a new direction of fun was sought and thus an appropriately drunken message was sent to warlord and captain of the NUCKS. Whilst at the NUCKS I decided to truly ramp up the amusing anecdotes as it was clear the NUCKS too are in obvious decline (not a good thing for this world). Here at least I noted a lot of life remained with a little banter and some fun being exchanged. It was during such banter a fellow NUCK suggested I create my own little running posts of the adventures of this character. So it came to pass that I tried to save (whenever I remembered) the various anectodal posts until such time as I could arrange for their posts here (admittedly I'm very lazy and I am posting while waiting for the DB battle :D )

I hope you enjoy (or at least don't vomit) :)

- Whack


Friday, July 17th 2009, 2:08pm

A NUCKS TALE! Chapter 21

Come fellow NUCKS, come gather around for I have a tale to tell. Barkeeper keep the ale flowing as the tale is long.

I was travelling through this here canyon where I stopped to rest for a bit near a rock outcropping. With special care I laid out to the side several of my 1 litre flasks of with premium NUCK ale. I think it was 7 in total (I was travelling light on this day trip).

Out from nowhere a big mean looking Troll appeared with gleaming helm and a wicked looking club in his hand. Well I had seen this doco on the discovery channel once on Trolls and I did the slow non aggressive movement thingy cause that's what the doco guy said to do (may he rest in peaces after being clawed to death by some diggers).

I made it clear through hand gesture I meant no trouble and would leave peacefully. Every time I went to pick up my flasks the Troll would make a mighty roar and threaten to launch itself. Faced with a conundrum I spent a good 45 seconds utilising my increasingly sobering brain cells contemplating life sober for a good portion of the day returning here.

Looking at my flasks still filled with premium NUCK ale I was filled with defiance and increasing anger to the point that it was I who launched himself at the Troll with a mighty head butt (seemed like a good idea at the time). The Troll was stunned into inaction but I didn’t care as I continued to launch myself at the troll and thereby found ourselves rolling around canyon floor. As we grappled with each other, a shiny gleam caught my eye back in the direction where I had been sitting. It then dawned on me that it would be a better idea if I attacked the Troll with my actual weapons rather than with my open palms. I swiftly rolled away from the Troll (those jagged rocks on the canyon floor are very annoying) and took hold of my weapons and slashed and thrust at the Troll until it permanently backed away.

I felt a certain tingle of empowerment as if I reached a whole new level (DING!) in this Tag life and with my new found prowess promptly reached down and took hold of my flasks and quickly skulled the lot of them and made my way back over here to share the tale.

YO BARKEEPER!!! Ale all round. Don’t worry Al’s picking up the tab.

Night Troll
Winner : Whack
Your reward : 466 & 3 Experience points
216 : 136


Friday, July 17th 2009, 2:17pm


[font=&quot]Recipient : multiple recipients Subject : NUCKS TALE: OF FIRE & EARTH
Date : 21.06.2009 12:56

Gather around fellow NUCKS as I have a wonderous tale tell.

In preparation for the latest battle between the gods I received what I thought what an especially divine idea to bring along a keg of some of the best NUCK beer going around to the battle field. One must make certain that one keeps his fluids up before any battle and I in particular am a very fluid person.

There I was making my way to the battle taking great care when rolling the keg along in front of me with my feet (both hands were preoccupied with flagons filled with beer), where an almighty roar was heard and the very ground started to violently vibrate uncontrollably.

I stumbled and despite some graceful movements spilled the contents of the flagon in my left hand whilst saving the one on my right as I fell to the ground. When I looked up I could see that 200 meters in front of me there was a great 10 meter gap where the ground split open that ran for a couple of kilometers either side. In the middle of this gap gushing upwards towards the sky was a great inferno.

I noticed the keg was quickly rolling toward the gap picking up pace as it went. I immediately sprung up and ran after it. I confirm the flagon and its contents from my right hand remained safely upright on the ground.

I was rapidly gaining ground when another violent shake of the ground saw everything on the ground become thrown up high in the air. The keg became airborne and violently bounced to the rhythm of the shaking. My heart leapt. The reinforced steel casing did its job admiringly well as it refused to be penetrated. I took these violent earthen shakes in stride as I continued onward.

I almost reached the bouncing keg when another violent earthen shake tossed the keg up high 5 meters into the gap air. My heart leapt once more and with one mighty sprint I jumped into the air above the gap and took hold of the keg into my arms. In mid air I felt a sudden rush of hot air pressure pushing upward. It singed me as it propelled me higher and with the velocity of my own jump only moments before found myself clearing the 10 meter gap. I instinctively rolled forward somewhat cumbersomely whilst holding tight my beloved keg.

When I finally rolled to a stop I could hear the roar of a different kind together with the clashing of steel. Battered and bruised my armor hanging loose I picked myself up and looked over at the keg. The heat of that inferno had weakened the steel casing and that sweet amber colored fluid was now gushing out. I was ENRAGED. I found a piece of metal of a sword and charged straight at the evil servants of fire responsible for this catastrophe. In midst of battle my tattered armor came completely off. Somewhere in that chaos I tripped over what appeared to be some kind of green rock. I absent mindedly picked it up and realized it was a kind of armor so I quickly put in on and continued venting my rage on the battle participants that totally surrounded me. The armor withstood a surprising pounding as I continued to charge from one battle participant to the next until exhaustion and serious lack of fluids (my poor poor keg…sniff!) overcame my gallant fight.

So it came to pass that from serious tragedy I found some consolation in my new rock looking armor with an unusually greenish glow about it that to my pleasant surprise is highly resistant to beer stains (nods with approval).

- Whack



Friday, July 17th 2009, 2:19pm


[font=&quot]Recipient : multiple recipients Subject : NUCKS TALE: CHAPTER 22
Date : 23.06.2009 03:58

Well my fellow NUCKS, I found myself hiking up in the mountains yesterday looking for some dragons blood for the druid. He promised me with that vial he could make a brew that would make our best premium beer at the NUCK bar pale by comparison. The very thought had me in a spell.

Although it was a pleasant enough day the sulphuric air and the heat emanating from the volcanic rocks had me working up a thirst. I seriously underestimated the journey and found my supply of ale ran out half way through the journey.

So there I was up in those mountains trying to shake off what were early signs of sobriety when I suddenly came across a foul smelling Bone Collector. The Bone Collector gave me a wicked smile whilst fingering the bones of his necklace. I was in no mood to play nice as these sobering thoughts were giving me a headache so I whacked the foul creature. Geez I felt better. So I whacked it again, and just kept whacking the creature until it ran away. I really felt much better and heard a DING!!! go off in my head and found my whacky mood return.

With no further ale and the threat of the permanency of sobriety I swiftly turned around and headed straight back here for a well deserved ale and to recount my tale to you my fellow NUCKS.

- Whack



Friday, July 17th 2009, 2:24pm

A NUCKS TALE! Chapter 23

Dear fellow Nuckers I am pleased to bring you the following report. It was a regular lazy afternoon where I was lounging around as I do near the Nuck bar having a couple of dozen quiet premium beers.

I was busily amusing myself with thoughts of crossing a goose with a moose when I received a tap on the shoulder by the proprietor of this fine bar. I followed him into the store room when he abruptly turned around and delivered one of more the shocking pieces of news I have ever heard.

[Physically shuddering] We were ….. [visibly trying to compose himself] …. officially out of [with a gasping whisper] beer!

PLEASE :cursing: do not make me repeat that awful phrase ever again.

The bartender placed both hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes as told me sources unknown had raided the caravan and stolen the kegs destined for our bar and another would not be available for another 24 hours.

My lips had dried and I was unable to speak. A WHOLE 24 hours! My initial shock turned into a sense of desperate action. I raced straight out and proceeded to scour the village and surrounding caves for any sign of the bootleg.

I snuck up to the Fatal Warrior camp and lo and behold glistening in the sun [barbarians!] were the stolen barrels filled with our amber liquid. Their sentry was lax but nonetheless I carefully snuck in and removed the barrels and hid them on a nearby farm. Before long the alarm went off and I pretended to be a farmhand for the next few hours. Then without notice I was spotted by their warlord Lap and after a valiant battle I was struck down by some mighty blows. Although knocked down and badly hurt I heard a DING! go off as I refused to yield the ground and nothing was revealed. I hobbled over here, keg in hand, and revealed the location of the rest of the barrels to our good proprietor here.

I am most pleased to announce that our beer is now safe and sound. BAR IS OPEN. Feel free to treat yourselves for a round as drinks are half price.

- Whack


Friday, July 17th 2009, 2:29pm


Recipient : multiple recipients Subject : NUCKS TALE: CHAPTER 25
Date : 17.07.2009 08:34

I was making my way through one of the valleys outside the village when I came across a stranger in the distance. Something about that stranger didn't seem right so I took no chances and crept up and gave him my signature 'whackity whack'. I must admit I felt pretty good afterwards as a 'DING!' went off in my head as I made my way back to the village.

Once back in the village I felt emboldened enough to try one of the town taverns. I saw on the drinks board a new drink being advertised called 'SUICIDE'. Apparently it was on trial and they were giving a full glass of the drink for free. Well I thought it was a funky sounding name and my curiosity got the better of me and so I ordered it.

My next memory is waking up in a camp with 8 other disoriented fellows and these other 3 dead guys. After I regained one of my senses called sight (the others were still on leave) I saw DEATH staring straight at me. I then suddenly remembered the advertised warning caption 'effects as per label name'.

That's just great! SUICIDE the label of choice for the suicidal.

- Whack


Horde Members (3) :
[ILU] -His-Nibbs- (Level 21)
[ILU] Jeanherve (Level 14)
[ILU] Brallion (Level 12)

Mercenaries (0) :
no warriors

Volunteers ( :
[PRO] TheGrifter (Level 35)
[DnD] Hedcase (Level 32)
[-TM-] DiabolusNZ (Level 32)
[FW] Budisti (Level 31)
[7TH] faydor (Level 2
[NUCKS] Whack (Level 25)
[NUCKS] bulinoxx (Level 17)
[T4C] kahn (Level 10)

Battle participants [ILU] : 11
Average level [ILU] : 23.36

Horde of the Ancestors

Horde Members (36) :
[DEATH] JeffNZ (Level 37)
[DEATH] Kordash (Level 37)
[DEATH] whitetiger (Level 34)
[DEATH] langds (Level 34)
[DEATH] funkyw1 (Level 33)
[DEATH] rcr511 (Level 33)
[DEATH] sspider (Level 32)
[DEATH] Trana (Level 32)
[DEATH] Wasapacifist (Level 31)
[DEATH] Guthor (Level 30)
[DEATH] FireGuardian (Level 29)
[DEATH] polemistis (Level 2
[DEATH] flyboy (Level 27)
[DEATH] Damadarian (Level 26)
[DEATH] sioux36 (Level 25)
[DEATH] Vorskraag (Level 24)
[DEATH] nzglenn (Level 23)
[DEATH] Baron Roderick (Level 23)
[DEATH] Hildegard (Level 22)
[DEATH] Grimfango (Level 22)
[DEATH] worm (Level 21)
[DEATH] dragon71564 (Level 21)
[DEATH] Bearvik (Level 20)
[DEATH] iljk125 (Level 20)
[DEATH] Nukleric (Level 20)
[DEATH] bajcsi (Level 19)
[DEATH] LoneWolf75 (Level 19)
[DEATH] Heaven (Level 1
[DEATH] Beemerette (Level 1
[DEATH] deathbat25 (Level 17)
[DEATH] Rashava (Level 17)
[DEATH] Aldridge conquest (Level 16)
[DEATH] Odin (Level 16)
[DEATH] dylan12234 (Level 14)
[DEATH] RoxyHarwick (Level

Mercenaries :

Volunteers :

Battle participants [DEATH] :
Average level [DEATH] :

The horde captain can now spy on the enemy camp. [/font]